Christmas Concert 2015 Brennan & Nathan

A time when we were young.....

Thirty two years and just about one month ago was the summer of my 9 years.  It was 1980.... a time when the summers seemed hot, awesome and endless.....where searching for rocks to add to our rock collection took up most of our days.

That summer I spent at the lake whenever I could.  My uncle Reg and his family were down for their annual visit.  I played with my younger cousin Maria, she was 4 and lived on PEI.

Gram had taken us to the dentist and Maria came too. The dentist let us pick out rings as that is what they used to give as surprises back then.  They let Maria pick one too.

We went back to the cottage and played outside on the swing.  Maria asked me if I could hold her ring as it kept falling off her little finger.  I held it and though how nice it looked on my finger.  I kept the ring, on purpose.  My dad drove us back to my mom's house that day.  I felt guilty about keeping the ring, but I still kept it.  Little did I know that one small gesture would cause me a lifetime of guilt.  That day was the last time I saw Maria.  On September 2nd of that year, she was hit by a truck and killed.

As long as I live, I will never forget the moment I found out.  My sister and I were waiting for my dad to come pick us up and he wasn't arriving.  I called his girlfriend at the time and she asked to speak with my mother.  I stayed on the phone and heard her telling my mom that Maria was hit by a truck and died.  The grief I felt at that moment was only surpassed by the guilt I felt for not giving her the ring back.  In my 9 year old head, I felt that it was my fault that all this happened because I took her ring. And for 32 years I have carried that guilt.

It is only after a few years of therapy that I've come to realize that I have never let go. And I have to let it go....  My therapist suggested I talk about it more with people I know. Well I can't talk about it without crying, so here it is.... out there.... I have put it out there and whomever wants to read it can do so.

Now my adult mind knows that it wasn't my fault she was killed and why am I even holding on to this....??  Well, I guess my 9 year old mind thought differently. And maybe it's because it was the last time I saw her too.... my little angel.....  For years after her death I remember daydreaming about her and ways I could bring her back.... if only I could bring her back, then all would be good.

Not too many days have passed in the last 32 years that I haven't thought about her, talked to her  or seen her beautiful face in my heart.  I love you Maria...... and I'm sorry I took the ring.

My spirited child....

I am the mother of a spirited child.  For those of you out there with one, you know what I mean.  I am the one who looks disheveled, tired and on edge most of the time.  I am the one you stare at in the supermarket as my spirited child throws himself on the floor screaming because I won`t get him what he wants.  I am the one who is always running as my child escapes me the moment he can to go where he wants to go.  I am the one you frown at when you see me carrying my child and he has no socks or boots on in mid-winter.  Trust me, he does own a pair, he just doesn`t want to wear them, and sometimes, it`s just not worth the battle.  I am the mother with the kids who may or may not have a clean face or clean clothes..... heck, I don`t even know if I brushed my own teeth this morning let alone theirs!  I am the one who sounds like a raving lunatic as I try hard to keep my voice low when all I want to do is scream at the top of my lungs for him to listen to me. I am the one trying hard to refrain from beating my car with a baseball bat because my kid doesn`t want to get in his carseat. I am the one who drives by the psych ward and wonders if it will soon be my new home.  I am the one who thinks being an alcoholic may not be such a bad idea...... I am the one who wolfs down an entire box of chocolate so I can make it through the day!  I am the one who will drive around for 2 hours while my kids sleep in the back seat because I so need the break. I am the one who looks at my sleeping children and wonders how such sweet angels can exhaust me so..... I am the one who is in bed at 8pm cause I need all the sleep I can get to make it through another day.....

To any of you out there who think you might have a spirited child, do yourself a favour and buy the book `Raising your spirited child`` by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.... lots of good tips in there for keeping your cool and diffusing a situation before it happens.

I just may have to reread it for the next 20 years or so....

I love you my children.....

Dear Santa.....

Santa, this year I have tried hard to be a good girl. I wasn't always successful, I know I had moments, but overall, I think I did the best I could with the nerves I was born with.

This year, I find it difficult asking for things I want because i think i have way more than I possibly need and so many people out there need the very basics in life food, clothing and shelter, and a place to be safe.  I have been extremely humbled by 6 people this Christmas season.  Rachel, Charli, Jailee, Nate, Sean and Elsie, while I have never met you, you have changed my life. I want to take you all in and give you everything you need. I want to know you are safe and warm and not hungry......

So Santa, this year, you can forget about bringing me a present and give it to someone out there who really needs it. That will be the best present ever for me!

If you could just sprinkle some extra patience, tolerance and energy my way though, that would be great!

Thanks Santa!  Love you!!  xoxo

Joyeux Noël.....

OK, so it's been a little over a year and 4 months since I last posted......  lazy??  Maybe....  I guess that like many people Facebook has been the easy way out.  Status update is way easier to do than sit and write a whole blog post.  Anyway, today I felt the need to write.  There are so many things I want to write about but just don't know where to start.

Kids....

Well, life with 3 kids is certainly quite an experience. Especially having a spirited one and one following the spirited one.... Some days I am totally exhausted, actually that pretty much describes every day.  I was not prepared for the whirlwind that 2 extra kids would bring into my life.  It has been challenging, but very rewarding as well.  Lucas is 11 now and so grown up.  He's a beautiful child both inside and out.  He has such a big heart and a wonderful smile.  He is funny and loves to make others laugh. He has been a tremendous help to me since the arrival of his brothers.  He is growing up though and not needing his mama as much as he used to. Sometimes I miss the nights we used to cuddle on the couch and watch movies. I love you Lucas!!

Nathan is almost 4.  He is a wonderful spirited child with energy I only wish I had!  He is smarter and wiser than his 4 short years, definitely an old soul!  Sometimes I wonder where he comes up with the things he does.  He is very observant and doesn't miss a thing!  he is very independant and wants to do everything by himself.  He loves everything to do with trains, trucks and anything that goes!  I love you Nathan!!

Brennan is 2 and into everything now!  He is in the discovery stage.  He'd much rather open the cupboards and take out the gravy boat to play with than any of his toys.  His is adorable and has big brown eyes that can melt any heart!  He loves tools and he loves his blankie!! I love you Brennan!!

My boys, you have changed my life for the better! I could not ask for a more wonderful life no matter how tired I am at the end of the day! You make it all worthwhile!

I am looking forward to Christmas morning to see your reactions when you open your presents!  It will be a fun year as you are all old enough to enjoy it now!  Tonight we are going to visit Santa!  Speaking of Santa, I must post my letter to him......

Nuts

Somedays I think I am going nuts...... Today I swear I could have eaten the arse off a skunk (that's one of my favourite Island expressions!) Anyway, I didn't do it, I was able to resist, but man oh man, even that container of Duncan Hines chocolate icing looked good.

I didn't have breakfast this morning as I had to take Nathan to the doctor's, then stop to fill a prescription and get a flat tire fixed to top it off...... so by the time I got home at 12ish, I was ravenous! I fed the kids and then made myself another power smoothie. That held me off, I tell ya they are quite filling! I snacked on fruit and yellow beans for supper and just now had my favourite Ezekiel bread with almond butter and raspberry jam (homemade by moi!!)

I am trying hard to stay as raw as possible. I do allow myself the Ezekiel bread just because it is made with sprouted grains and not flour, but technically it is now raw and besides, even if it was, I stick it in the toaster, so all rawness would be gone anyway. But if that's my only unraw food, then it's ok.

I will be starting up a website in the next few months and document my journey to raw and prove to myself and the world that it is possible to be raw in the winter months of Eastern Canada. It's just a little more challenging than the Ojai Valley of California...... which I would love to visit someday. Storm and Jingee have their raw village there. It sounds so interesting and wonderful. How I would love to have my own raw village with all other raw people around me. It would probably be so much easier to be surrounded with people who eat the same way rather than sit at the table with my family as they eat pizza while I chomp on carrots!

I am trying to slowly change the eating habits of my family as well. It would be so easy to get the baby going on raw foods only, except right now he doesn't have enough teeth to chew on carrots. But I do give him a lot of fruit and some cooked veggies. He eats beans of all kinds as well, so he is getting his protein. My kids all love the smoothies I make too so they are getting all kinds of good stuff and they don't even realize it.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents for today, I guess I just had to write it down somewhere that I was having a challenging day food wise but that I am glad to say I was able to control myself.

One of the articles in an email I get from Halleluja Acres spoke of why doesn't God take away my addictions. The answer was that God helps those who help themselves. How many times have I heard this being said!! Well this time it really sink in and I am helping myself!! I haven't had ice cream in 2 or 3 days now..... not because I didn't want to let me tell you!! In summer ice cream is pretty much all I think about. In winter i never think about it and couldn't care less if I had any, but now is quite different.......

Anyway, I'm going to soak my butt in the tub for an hour and read The Secret for the 2nd time. It's a good book, you should read it too!!

night night!!
Jo

Super Smoothie

Here is my smoothie before and after pictures.....

Delicious! YUMMY!!

Rawberry Pie Recipe

This is the original recipe found in a magazine:

Crust:
1 1/4 cup of cashews (unsalted)
1 cup of shredded coconut (unsweetened)
1 1/2 cup of dried fruits (apricots, prunes, cranberries, dates etc...)

Process the cashews in a food processor, add other ingredients and process until it is mealy.
Press in the bottom of a pie plate.

Fruit filling:
3-4 cups of fruits:
1/2 pineapple and 1 box of raspberries
2 cups of pineapple juice
2 tbsp of agar agar

put fruits on top of pie crust

In a casserole mix fruit juice and agar agar, bring to a boil
reduce heat and let simmer 5 to 10 min until the flakes are dissolved
mix well and pour over fruits

chill for 2 hours and serve.

That was the one my mother made. Mine was a little different as I didn't feel like paying $10 for a little bag of agar agar.

I used almonds instead of cashews for the crust and did not put coconut.
as a filling I processed half a pineapple and banana in food processor then topped it off with fruits I had: raspberries, blueberries, pineapple and mango.

What ever recipe you use..... enjoy it!

Mango Chutney

Mango is one of my favourite fruits, but it has to be ripe! I made this chutney based on a recipe by Matt Amsden and I love it so much eaten with flax crackers.

The recipe is as follows:

2 cups of chopped mango

2 tbsp of fresh lemon juice

2 tspn honey (you can also use agave nectar or maple syrup)

1 bunch of cilantro (which i am growing this year)

1/2 chopped red pepper

1/4 cup chopped red onion

2 green onions chopped (straight from the garden as well)

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

Anyway, that's my version. I always make my own versions of recipes I find since I live on the east coast of Canada, a lot of the stuff they have in California is not found here.

Smoothie Power!!

How to get everyone to eat their greens and other good stuff?? Hide it in a smoothie!
Here is what went into this morning's smoothie:

5 tbsp of hemp hearts
4 tbsp of Udo's Oil Blend
1 head of baby Romaine lettuce (taken straight from my garden, it was relatively small)
1 Avocado
1 Banana
Frozen cranberries and strawberries
cranberry-pomegranate juice

I usually add flax seed as well, but didn't have any left.
Lucas drank all of his huge glass and Nathan had a small glass and asked for seconds.

I must say though that I am fortunate to have the Vita-Mix blender which mixes it all so well you can't tell what's in it. I used to make these smoothies in my food processor or regular blender and it wasn't smooth enough..... Lucas wouldn't drink it cause he could see stuff in it. But with this super duper blender, the smoothie is smooth and you can't see traces of anything.

I have recently decided to try Udo's Oil Blend. I had seen it on the shelf at the health food store and read about it in raw books, but never tried it. they were giving free samples the other day at the health food store so I decided to try it out and well, I went back to get the big bottle. It's not cheap, mind you, but from what I can see it is very good stuff. Ou bodies need to be oiled and have a good ratio of fats, especially if not eating any other sources of fats. If you'd like to read up on it, the website is: udoerasmus.com/products then click on oil blends. Thee is a lot of good information about the fats and oils we need.

I've also been a fan of hemp hearts for several years. For more info visit www.buyhemphearts.com There is some great information there about all its benefits.

Anyway, I am down almost 40lbs now this year (that's being on and off raw) I try to stay raw as much as possible, but it's summer and it's hot and ice cream is darn good on a hot day!! So I kind of consider myself raw with ice cream! LOL....

I realized I should have posted the recipe for the raw berry pie and I will get around to doing it. As I type now, Nathan is pushing on my keyboard tray trying to get me off the computer, so it's hard to sit down and type something out.

Take care and eat well!!

Jo

Rawberry Pie

Here is my version of my mom's rawberry pie. It's a little different as I didn't have all the same ingredients but it turned out really good just the same. I will definitely be making this again and again!! Maybe even try different versions of it as different fruits are in season.
Must go eat some now, it's lunch time!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

RAWness

I have been back on raw on and off over the last few months. I don't know why I don't just always stay on it as I feel so much better when I do. It's just so tempting to have all the nice looking things out there to eat I guess. Thing is after I eat them I don't feel good inside or out. The past 2 weeks I was in Quebec visiting my family and came back with an extra 12lbs! Mind you, I gorged ridiculously on all things I could put my hands on. Needless to say I was very discouraged when i hopped on the scale Monday morning! After 2 days back on raw, I have managed to shed 7 of those pounds. Good thing that the last ones on are generally the easiest to take off. Hopefully by next week, I should be back on track.

I have been reading a lot on rawness to the point where I sometimes get bored with it and don't read anymore. That is my mistake, I should keep on reading even if I don't feel like it. In one of the websites I visit, they suggest journaling as a form of helping me in my journey, so I will be using this blog to journal and start posting recipes again as I forget them after a while.

I received an email today from a raw foodist talking about Kaya Kalpa where men would go in underground caves for 90 days and meditate. They were in complete darkness and quiet with only some cleansing herbs. This would totally rejuvenate the body and even help hair and teeth to grow back. This man also talked about the importance of sleep and how we don't get enough of it. I totally agree with that. I need sleep and wish i could get a lot more of it. He also mentions that those who live the longest are those who eat the least. We tend to eat and eat until we are bloated and uncomfortable. this is so not gopod for our bodies as it used up so much energy to process these foods and doesn't have enough left to regenerate and rejuvenate itself.

When I eat raw, I am rarely hungry and find myself eating less. Our bodies don't need everything we put into it. So why is it that we feel the need to overstuff it?

My goal now is to reduce the amount of food I eat even if it is raw. I will eat why I need and not what I want. Need and want are two so very different things.

i would also like to start having raw potlucks again. It is fun to see what people can come up with. If you are reading my blog and would like to partake in raw potlucks, please let me know.

My mom made an awesome mostly raw pie while I was visiting her, even Lucas couldn't believe how delicious it was. Here is a picture of it, doesn't it look absolutely marvelous?!! I can't wait to make one and enjoy it again!!

There are so many wonderful delicious things we can eat that are not processed...... berry season is here now, so I think I may go pick berries today and enjoy them!

Have a good day everyone!

Busy

Well, hello again if you are still there..... you may have given up on me since I haven't posted in like 5 months. I guess I've just been busy with the 3 kids and with the invention of Facebook I just find it easier to post my daily quote, upload my pics once a month and move on. If the babies would ever sleep at the same time it might be easier, although when that happens, I always seem to have a million other things to do. Then there is the fact that I'd love to read a book, which I rarely have time for.
What on earth did I ever do when I didn't have children.?? As I type, Nathan has come to me and I caught a whiff of a soiled diaper..... so it looks like I'll have to end this session sooner than planned.

I will find my camera, plug it in and add a few pictures of our recent activities including Nathan turning 2.

See you soon!

Fall Colors

I love fall for so many reasons, but the main one is apple picking! I could spend all day in the beautiful rchards, picking delicious apples and filling my face. The colorful background is perfect for picture taking!

Brennan had his first experience apple picking. He enjoyed it by sleeping through it all....


Nathan checked out the cortlands....




He really enjoyed filling his face with apples he took off the ground.....



Lucas could be found high up in the trees lazing around while eating his apple.

He always enjoyed posing for the camera, so it's fun to take pictures of him.

All in all it was fun, got a bag of macs and a bag of cortlands and will enjoy them in many different ways....... apple crisp, apple pie, apple juice, apple crumble, apple sauce, baked apple, candy apple.....

It's been a while.....

Well, it has been a few months since I have posted, mainly because of lack of desire and lack of time. Lots has happened this summer. Brennan finally arrived August 9th at 3:28pm.



He weighed 7lbs 15 oz and was 19.5 inches long. He's the biggest of the 3 babies so far, yet he seems so little......

Nathan is growing like a weed and is into everything. He is forever getting into things and climbing everywhere, here he is eating his lunch on the table..... His language skills have developed so much over the summer, he is talking up a storm!! It's so cute to hear him try to repeat words and babble on.....

I was fortunate enough to have the visit of my mom, sister and neice all at the same time. This hasn't happened since Lucas was born! It was nice to have them here together. And Brennan arrived during their visit so my sister came to the delivery.

Oh, you may notice in the above picture, our new dog Zack as well, he joined the family in July. He is a little pest as well, but we love him dearly.

Lucas was quite happy to welcome another brother. He is a great big brother and is a great help to me most days!

My days have been busy now with 3 boys to take care of. Brennan needs to be fed all the time, so it seems like I don't do anything but sit in the chair with my boobs hanging out most days. But I've been taking the time to go out to the stores just to escape from the house..... I've also been trying to give Nathan more attention as I feel I neglected him over the last few months just cause I could barely move.

School starts next week for Lucas who will be going into Grade 4! Imagine! Where did the time go to? Before I know it Nathan will be in school!

Now that the weather has cooled off I will start walking again in hopes of shedding the last 20lbs I put on with Brennan and then start working on the next 20!! I love walking in fall, it's so cool and crisp out and not scorching hot.

Well, I will stop babbling on now and save some for later! I've got more pictures to download, just have to take the time to do it!

TTFN

kidz

Here's the boys just chillin'..... Nathan loves his puppies and his big brother......


This week Nathan burned 2 fingers touching a hot cookie sheet. As he won't sit still or let us look or hold his hands, I had to find a way to get his hand in cold water, so i brought in the little pool and he played in that for a while, which helped alleviate the pain.

Not a bad day after all

Today started out being cool and grey, but now it's warm and sunny! Yay!! Nathan got a taste of his little pool. I had to add hot water to it of course as it was way too cold, but he enjoyed himself.


Lucas was out most of the day, even playing DS outside with his good friend Isaac.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day as well..........

Enjoy your weekend!

Please smile.....

Those of you who were around when Lucas was little know how photogenic he was, always smiling and posing for the camera, I had a blast taking pictures with him. Nathan is another story. He will never look up at me or smile when I want him to so most pictures end up like this:

Looking down

sliding off the dinosaur.....

rubbing his face......

The only ones I seem to get are when he's on the slide and then I have to put the camera almost under him and just hope for the best...... but when i do get him looking up and smiling, it's certainly worth it!!

Weeeeeeee........

A day at the Park

Today was a rather breezy day, but the kids had fun at the park just the same. Nathan enjoyed going down the slide with his big brother!





Smile boys!






Nathan in the Pirate ship

and getting a push from Lucas

Hope you all enjoyed your Sunday afternoon too!

It's a boy!

Well I thought I'd share a few pictures of my newest baby boy!
In this first picture, he is giving us a very clear indication of his gender. He's got both legs in the air exposing his little parts!


Here is what the 3D looks like of his little face. He almost looks like he is smiling. Must be cozy in there....

Here is a side view showing us he's a boy..... there's no mistaking it!

And here is his lovely profile.

So what do you think? Will this one look like me??

FYI, if you click on the pictures, they will enlarge and you can see it better.